Monday, January 26, 2015

Less Than Stellar

Where oh where did 2014 go?  And where oh where did I go?

I was on a hot streak at the beginning of the school year (read: back in October) and had fully intended to stick with a "I'm gonna blog this school year" attitude.  Unfortunatley this school year has been less than stellar.  And by less then stellar I mean it has been the worst school year in the history of school years.

Seriously I have miserable in my new job since about September.  Which is a very strange feeling for me because well, I've never hated a job before.  I've never wanted to quit a job before.  I've never gone home crying because of a job before. I've never complained so much about a job before. 

There are multiple reasons for feeling this way about my job. Mostly I think its because I unknowningly got a job with the worst middle school in our district. 

Here is what I've had to deal with on a daily basis:

1. Disrepectful 13 and 14 year olds.  Ok I remember being in 8th grade and I never dreamed of talking to one of my teachers the way some of my students talk to me.  I've been called just about every bad word there is.  (Not directly to my face, save for 1 or 2 times, but I'm not deaf as my students seem to think I am and I can hear every word they say). 

2.  8th graders are mean.  Story time.  I got bangs for a hot second back in like Oct or Nov.  Just wanted something a little different for a while.  So throughout the day I had students tell me some nice things but mostly it was, "MS!  What'd you do to your hair?" in a not so nice tone.  Fast forward to 7th period.  A students comes up to me and we have the following interaction:

Student:  Ms. Norris can I tell you something.
Me: Sure ______, go ahead.
Student: You know how everyone has been complimenting your hair and telling you look nice today.
Me: Yeah.
Student:  Well, they're all lying.  Your hair actully looks really ugly.
Me: Shocked face and no words. 

I actually did have a lot of words to say to this student, mostly along the lines of how disrespectful and rude her was.  I think he did feel bad after he said it.  But still never in my life would I have dreamed of telling a teacher that.

3. Rough area of town.  My school is in a very ghetto area.  Again a fact I was not aware of when I took the job.  Most of my students come from pretty rough homes which I sympathize with 100%.  I think it takes a very special type of person to work with and be able to handle students who need as much extra help as the majority of these students do.  And I am just not one of them. (Sorry if that sounds a little selfish!)

 I do want to say that not all of my students are little terrors.  I have a few who have been absolute delights and have really helped me remember that teaching is what I want to do. It's for those students that I'm able to get up in the morning and get to work, rather than do what I've been tempted to do since about week 3 and that's quit.

Luckily for me, I had a great first year of teaching last year.  So I know it's not the teaching profession that I dislike.  It's simply my current work location.  And thank goodness there is a fairly easy fix to my current situation, which is.......get a new job.  I'll be spending a portion of the Spring the way I spent last Spring, job hunting.

Because if there is one thing I've learned from teaching 8th grade this year, besides the fact that I'm pretty sure I dislike children between the ages of 12-14, it's that you absolutely must love going to work everyday.  It makes getting up everyday so much easier.  Feeling your stomach drop down into your butt every morning on your commute to work because your job makes you feel anxious, stressed, and disappointed doe not. So if you learn nothing else from this post, learn this:  love your job and don't settle until you find the one that makes you love getting up in the morning.


**Sorry for the lack of pictures in my post.  This is another way you can tell I dislike my job, I have like 2 pictures from the school year on Instagram.  Whereas last year I took like 5 a day.  The struggle is real y'all.  The struggle is real.

2 comments:

Whitney said...

Hating a job is the worst. At Hilton I thought I was going to die every single day. I spiraled into a deep depression. I know every job has their peaks and lows... it's not a fix-all, and there will still be tough moments. But it sounds like this just isn't a good fit for you. I hope you start looking for something new!

Him & Me (But Mostly Me) said...

Yikes. That's just ridiculous. In my time it wouldn't have been allowed at all. I hope the school year gets better for you!!