Monday, August 27, 2012

Changes

Life has changed.
Well, my life in Florida has changed.
Big time.

Ready for story time?
Good, because this is a long one.

So, back in May my 4 roommates and I decided to resign out leave for another 9 months.
We knew that one roommate had decided not to stay in Florida so we needed to find a fourth person to take over her room.
We had several interested people.  But we had decided to give it to my BFF who lives in California and works at Disneyland.
She had been there for about a year, but wasn't super happy, was super poor (Cali is an expensive state to live in I'm told), and if she moved to Florida she'd be closer to her family.
Plus, she had been telling me for months that she wanted to move back to Florida.
We called her and got the "Yes, I'm 100% moving to Florida in August.  I'll take the room" from her.
So we signed.

Here comes June and I get some shocking news from Suzanne.
(She's the roommate who I've talked about a million times on my blog.  She's my best friend here in Florida, actually more like my sister, and is one of the best people I know!)
Suz's tells me that she has decided to move back to home to Kansas.
My heart dropped to my stomach and I may have freaked a little.
But she's been through a whole lot the last 2 years here in Florida and I knew she needed to go home for a while. 
She's said that she was only going home for the holidays and would be back in January to finish out the lease.

I excepted that pretty quickly (although I was still really sad that my best friend was leaving) but was comforted by the fact that my BF from California was still coming.
She reassured me she was still in it and was coming now matter what.
Back in July I got to go home for a whole week.
My cousin got married and I was able to see pretty much all of my family.
It was great.
Save for one thing.
I got a call from BF in Cali.
She was upset and crying (which she never really does!) and said she was confused and wasn't sure she wanted to move to Florida anymore,
UM, WHAT!
I panicked. 
A million thoughts started running through my head!
Why not? We've already signed the lease and told everyone else the room was taken.  Suz is leaving and now she's not coming, what the hell am I gonna do.  
Through all that though, my first instinct was as her best friend.  I didn't want her to be upset and confused.  I didn't want her to feel like she couldn't talk to me about her feelings.
So I told her it was ok and we'd figure it out.

Then I started to really thing about what it would mean if she didn't come.
And I got angry.
So later in he week I gave her a call back and just told her exactly how I was feeling.
I had been feeling anxious and stressed all while I was at home. (Where I was supposed to be relaxing and happy.)
We had a great conversation, I told her it was only until May and that if she wasn't happy in Florida after all she could always go back. Oh, did I mention that there is a guy involved in this story.
Yeah not on my end (sadly) but on hers. And she's got a new job at Disneyland and has started making more money.  So she's not as unhappy as she was when she agreed 100% in May.
So we get into the beginning of August, our old lease is ending in a matter of weeks and I still haven't heard from her.  That added to the fact that Suz is leaving in the same amount of time, make me feel sad, even more anxious, stressed, angry, and totally unhappy.  I'm at the point where I just want to quit Disney and move home to Texas.

Then I get the official call that BF in California has decided to stay in California.
First thought?
I'm FUCKED.
 (sorry for the language).
I told her I was hurt and angry and that it would take me a while to get over this. 
See, I wasn't made because she wasn't moving to Florida.
I was mad because for MONTHS she had been telling us she was 100% sure she as moving here and 3 weeks before she's supposed to start driving here, she tells me never mind.
I couldn't believe that one of my best friends was doing this.
It was awful.

Well to make an already long story short, we did end up finding someone to take the room.
A hundred different scenarios ran through my head on what would happen if we didn't find someone.
I'd have to pay more rent, Suz might have to stay and be miserable (she had found someone to take over her room), life would be terrible.
Luckily pretty much the same day that we lost a roommate, we found a new one.

So now, I'm currently living with 2 boys and another girl (who I've lived with for the last year).
I've moved into Suzanne's old room and the new roommates and I NEVER see each other.
We all have different schedules, different friends, pretty much different lives.
I drove with Suzanne back to Kansas last weekend and when I got back I didn't see any of my roommates for 3 days.
It pretty much feels like I live alone.
Which I hate.

I've NEVER had roommate issues and I have ALWAY been friends with my roommates.
And now that's not the case.
Yes we all get along, but we're not friends.
And to be honest, I'm lonely.
It's an awful feeling.
But I'm slowly getting used to it.  Thank god for my friends at work.
Because if it weren't for them, I honestly don't know if I would be staying in Florida.

But I've come to realize that maybe this is supposed to be happening.  
This is God's plan for me and I just have to roll with it.
And thinking that is making it much easier.

Wow, this is one long long post.
I apologize for that, but I've been wanting to write this all out for a while now.

Final thought on the whole situation?

Change is definitely hard but it does make you stronger.


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5 comments:

Joey said...

Wow. So much back and forth would leave me an anxious mess. I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. I know it can be tough when people aren't reliable (my bff is the flakiest person alive--love her anyway). I hope you and your roommates find a groove and that everything straightens out.

Joey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Samantha said...

I'm sorry, I went through a situation where I had three roommates and we got along for the first little while but began to not see each other and we were defiantly not friends. I felt so lonely that I left and went home and started all over. I hope things work out better for you.

Ashley Wright said...

This post made me sad. I love you best friend, I know I am far but if you need anything you know I am just a call away! We need to Skype soon... and you know that you always have a room here!!!

Meg Cady said...

Oh my! What a story! Im so sorry it was a rough situation! Im glad it kinda all worked it self out. Oh lofe and your changes !!

Happy Tuesday!